Grinch

It's quite possible that it's too soon after my wedding and too close to Christmas for me to start being grinchy...but what can I say? It's in my nature to be a little pessimistic. While it's something I'd like to change about myself, doesn't there also come a point where you should just embrace who you are? I'm hoping that by venting here it will allow me to be more optimistic and kind in the real world...here's hoping!

Last night James and I went to the mall. As we were walking in I asked, "What is that horrible, high pitched screeching noise??" James kindly informed me that it wasn't screeching (Erin Ear Syndrome strikes again), but one of the Salvation Army bell ringers ringing his (obnoxious) bell. "Grrr, I can't stand those guys!" I exclaimed. "You mean those nice volunteers who dedicate their time to raising money to help the needy?" was the selfless reply I received from my husband (hehe, husband!). Yes, yes, those are the ones, I thought to myself.



Yup, it's true. I'm a horrible person because people asking me to do good and donate to charity drive me nuts. I think I might be okay with that, though, because it's not juuuuust the holiday Salvation Army volunteers who bother me...it's also the clerk at Vons asking if I would like to donate to Prostate Cancer research...it's the Greenpeace or Repub and Dem Party crazies who call out to me in front of grocery stores to sign their petition or register to vote even though I'm clearly avoiding eye contact (get a clue)...it's the cell phone and massage therapy kiosk employees throughout the mall who pester me with questions about my current international plan or how tense my shoulders are even as I pick up the pace to escape having to actually reply.

Homeless people on the street corner I can handle. Sure, if you happen to get stopped at a red light and are left to sit there awkwardly next to them while trying not to acknowledge that you've noticed them, it can be a little unpleasant. But they are not coming up to my window, knocking on it or ringing a stinking bell in my ear. They sit there quietly with a sign letting me know what they would like and letting me make the choice to give them something or not without the necessity of any sort of verbal communication. I like that. And, on occasion I do give them something, whereas when it comes to the Salvation Army, I refuse because they are trying to guilt me into giving. I personally don't believe that donating money out of guilt is really in the spirit of Christmas. Maybe that's just me.

When I go places...the mall, the grocery store, anywhere really, I enjoy my anonymity. If I walk into a store and someone asks if they can help me find something, I appreciate that because I walked into their store specifically, by choice, to find something. But if I need to run to the store to grab some milk (and some Oreos, let's be honest)I don't want to have to plan my route in and out of the store based on where the bell ringer is camped out. And let's face it, even if I put $100 into one Salvation Army bucket, I would still feel guilty every time I passed another one and didn't put anything in. Should I carry around dollar bills everywhere I go just to ease my conscience?

I can't possibly be the only person who is bothered by this stuff. Am I just a year-round grinch?